Derek and I get asked (often) how we met. Most people ask then look at us in hopeful anticipation of a fairytale story that led two cool (if I do say so myself) people to each other. In many ways our story is pretty perfect (if I again say so myself). There is one detail that throws people off. We met through Tinder.
We tell people this right away when they ask. There is no need to hide it. And there is a reason why it worked. And (Sorry, Tinder) it wasn’t because Tinder is this amazing dating app. Sure, we give them credit for meeting. Sure, their platform is super easy to use. And sure, the stereotype of why people are on Tinder was kind of the only thing we were looking for at that point (insert dramatic gasp). But really it was our attitude about where we were in life and an honest, healthy approach to meeting people (notice I did not say “dating”) that allowed us to talk, have a little fun communicating, meet and fall in love.
I dated for 8 years following the break-up of an 11 year relationship (really a common law marriage). I was 33 years old. I had never had to date before. I was 22 when I met my ex. Funny side note: A good friend of ours refers to his ex as “The former administration”. Anyway, I was 22 years old when we met. We met through friends and hung out and then we were a couple. Continue reading →
I believe I am going to live until at least my late 80s or longer. I don’t know if it’s true but I believe I will. And I will sit in my bright turquoise rocking chair. And even though I will be healthy and will take lots of walks, still hike, ride my bike, probably play bingo with friends while wearing a color coordinated track suit, my favorite thing to do will be to sit in this rocking chair.
That chair is where I will look back on everything and everyone in my life.Continue reading →
The soft ocean breeze hits my body and whispers to me to relax (shhhhhh). I can hear the seagulls. They are softly telling me to keep my eyes closed and just breathe (hushhhhh). There is no place I would rather be. The sound of the… bull horn. That’s a bullhorn. That is a loud freaking bull horn. What the hell is going on? I feel myself being pulled from my beach chair into the air toward that crazy, uncomfortable sound. Why am I going up? Why am I …
Oh. It’s my alarm. It’s 4:30am. Time to make the donuts. If you don’t know what that means, it means I’m old.Continue reading →
You know how certain things in life can feed your soul? For me those moments are usually things I do to help others. Yesterday was the first time that I felt that way about something that was really just for me. I competed in (well, “participated in” is probably more accurate) the Women’s Philadelphia Triathlon (PHLTRI). It wasn’t the most challenging race I’ve ever done and it won’t be the most challenging race I will do this year. It was, however, one of the most fun races and 100% the most soul feeding. I needed this finish. Ever since the New York City marathon last year, I have had a string of very painful and very discouraging training and racing moments. I DNF’d a race this year for the first time in my life. Twice! Every day was a new pain and a new challenge. I am used to pain. After breaking my back Continue reading →
“Wow. That’s pretty brave to start something like that.”
I didn’t know this guy at all really and certainly not well enough for him to make such a judge-y statement about my new relationship. I didn’t respond because I didn’t know what he meant. It took me maybe a month and then I remembered and realized what he meant. In hindsight I think it’s a good thing because it was a pretty shitty thing to say. My response would not have been how I really feel and would not have helped. I am also glad it did not cause me to over think what I was, in fact, “getting into”. I tend to overthink a lot (as evidenced by the fact that I am still thinking about this guy’s statement years later). Continue reading →
I found this old photo of myself again today. It pops up every now and then. I think I was about 20 years old. I was so cool. I dressed cool. I looked cool. I said cool things. I did cool stuff.
Every time I look at old photos of myself I do that whole – I wish I still looked like that -thing, but only for about 60 seconds. I mean, let’s be real. When I looked like that, I wished I looked like Continue reading →
*Trigger Alert: This article is about rape and sexual assault. Please read and share with care.
Ten years ago (maybe 9, I’m not sure) I was out with some friends. I had way too much to drink which was unfortunately typical at that time. I went through (more than once) a period of time where a drink or happy buzz wasn’t quite enough. Self-medicating I suppose. Anyway, I ran into a guy I had dated for a short period of time. He was definitely not one of my proudest moments. I was testing the “worst possible scenario” type life. haha. Many of us have been there. Hmmmm…let me see what it is like to date someone who is the opposite of everything I stand for, is sort of embarrassing, almost sad in a way, and treats me like crap. That sounds like a fantastic idea. I will not listen to my friends and will find weird reasons to explain why it works. Luckily it only lasted a couple of months before the rest of my brain throat punched the stupid part of my brain. Boom. Reality. What the f#<K am I doing? I am better than this. I told him we were done and attempted to pick myself up and become me again.
Anyway, several weeks later or months later (I am not sure) he was at the same restaurant on this particular night (way too small of a town). He was trying to get me to stay with him and hang out or to come with us to hang out. I remember my friends telling me to get into the car and telling him no and to leave me alone. I remember sitting in the back seat of my friend’s car and him being outside of the car. I think he was in his car. I remember the look on his face. I can’t really describe it but it was kind of desperate or urgent maybe – I’m not sure. They took me home, made sure I got into my house and left.