Dating Is Stupid

Stop dating. I mean it. Just stop. 

Derek and I get asked (often) how we met. Most people ask then look at us in hopeful anticipation of a fairytale story that led two cool (if I do say so myself) people to each other. In many ways our story is pretty perfect (if I again say so myself). There is one detail that throws people off. We met through Tinder.

Hooray Tinder!!!

We tell people this right away when they ask. There is no need to hide it. And there is a reason why it worked. And (Sorry, Tinder) it wasn’t because Tinder is this amazing dating app. Sure, we give them credit for meeting. Sure, their platform is super easy to use. And sure, the stereotype of why people are on Tinder was kind of the only thing we were looking for at that point (insert dramatic gasp). But really it was our attitude about where we were in life and an honest, healthy approach to meeting people (notice I did not say “dating”) that allowed us to talk, have a little fun communicating, meet and fall in love. 

I dated for 8 years following the break-up of an 11 year relationship (really a common law marriage). I was 33 years old. I had never had to date before. I was 22 when I met my ex. Funny side note: A good friend of ours refers to his ex as “The former administration”. Anyway, I was 22 years old when we met. We met through friends and hung out and then we were a couple. Continue reading

Rocking Chair Moments

Chairs and Table Overlooking Great Smoky Mountain National Park at SunsetI believe I am going to live until at least my late 80s or longer. I don’t know if it’s true but I believe I will. And I will sit in my bright turquoise rocking chair. And even though I will be healthy and will take lots of walks, still hike, ride my bike, probably play bingo with friends while wearing a color coordinated track suit, my favorite thing to do will be to sit in this rocking chair. 

That chair is where I will look back on everything and everyone in my life.  Continue reading

Leave Everything In This Room

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The soft ocean breeze hits my body and whispers to me to relax (shhhhhh). I can hear the seagulls. They are softly telling me to keep my eyes closed and just breathe (hushhhhh). There is no place I would rather be. The sound of the… bull horn. That’s a bullhorn. That is a loud freaking bull horn. What the hell is going on? I feel myself being pulled from my beach chair into the air toward that crazy, uncomfortable sound. Why am I going up? Why am I …

Oh. It’s my alarm. It’s 4:30am. Time to make the donuts. If you don’t know what that means, it means I’m old.  Continue reading

A Needed Finish: Women’s Philadelphia Triathlon Race Report

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You know how certain things in life can feed your soul? For me those moments are usually things I do to help others. Yesterday was the first time that I felt that way about something that was really just for me. I competed in (well, “participated in” is probably more accurate) the Women’s Philadelphia Triathlon (PHLTRI). It wasn’t the most challenging race I’ve ever done and it won’t be the most challenging race I will do this year. It was, however, one of the most fun races and 100% the most soul feeding. I needed this finish. Ever since the New York City marathon last year, I have had a string of very painful and very discouraging training and racing moments. I DNF’d a race this year for the first time in my life. Twice! Every day was a new pain and a new challenge. I am used to pain. After breaking my back Continue reading

What if you knew?

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“Wow. That’s pretty brave to start something like that.”

I didn’t know this guy at all really and certainly not well enough for him to make such a judge-y statement about my new relationship. I didn’t respond because I didn’t know what he meant. It took me maybe a month and then I remembered and realized what he meant. In hindsight I think it’s a good thing because it was a pretty shitty thing to say. My response would not have been how I really feel and would not have helped. I am also glad it did not cause me to over think what I was, in fact, “getting into”. I tend to overthink a lot (as evidenced by the fact that I am still thinking about this guy’s statement years later). Continue reading